It's funny the things that stop you dead in your tracks and make you sob when you have lost a child. Today, for me, it was finding a table. Not just any table but the closest match that I have seen to the table that we had that I loved and called table. Not only do I still love the bright yellow formica table, but it was the table that Adeline sat at for school and the table that we ate many meals at before it became the craft/art/school table. So, here is a picture of table 1.
This is table 2. The woman who was selling the table told me that she refinished it and put all of her energy and love into it. It was a wonderful conversation as I got to share with her how special and meaningful this table will be to me and why. Sometimes I think that God puts you in the right place at the right time and I am sure that my Sweet Adeline was here to help me find the perfect table for our family...I know that it might sound silly but this table will go a long ways in making our house feel like a home. (The table that we were generously donated will have a space in the basement next to shelves with board games. It will be the perfect space to play games or do crafts and have family nights. It will also be nice when we have guests over as there will be more spaces to eat at.)
As I sit here reflecting, I can't help but think back to the many nights that we did crafts, baked cookies and decorated them, baked pies and cakes and rolled out the crusts or the fondant decorations, played with Play Doh, and really enjoyed moments like board games together. It was a wonderful life and I am determined to try and make life as close to that wonderful as I can again. I know that it will never be what it was or how it was and I know that it will never quite feel as wonderful, but for Huxley, Althea, and Andrew...I feel that I need to try.
We also shared so many meals around this table. On the first night that the table came home, we had La Gondola. I am thinking that I might have to pick up La Gondola again and have that for dinner on the night that this table comes home too. It might be nice to reminisce and talk to the kids about all of the great memories that we shared around our dinner table together.
I have to say that I believe that Adeline led me to this table. I had been looking for a while, searching eBay, scouring Craigslist, and glancing through Marketplace. Tonight I just so happened to expand my search a bit to see what was available a few hours from me and there was table 2. I believe that Adeline gave me the notion to search and look a little longer. I feel like she was the most amazing person that I have ever met and that she is making some of these amazing things happen for me so that I can feel her presence and have a few pieces that remind me of home and life with her. I won't lie...I know that having table 2 at home will probably be hard in many ways, but I do believe that it will help me to keep having precious memories of the moments that were once shared with Adeline around table.
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