Soul Journey Days 3 and 4
So I took my soul journey a while back and shared with you all the first two days of that journey which was largely a LOT of driving. Day three was a bit more of a relaxed day, a day where I really experienced life and culture in one of my favorite cities in the United States.
I woke up early and went from Gulf Shores to Biloxi to hang out on the beach and do some yoga. I spent time in meditation laying on the beach on my yoga mat and just thought about my girl. I thought about her smile, her spark, her joy, her laughter, and all of her love.
She loved so hard and perhaps that is what has made this entire experience the worst thing possible, missing out on her love and knowing that I won't be fortunate enough to experience that love in person again. I can still feel her love. I can still hear her at times in the quiet, but I struggle each and every day with not being able to feel those hugs and those sweet kisses.
Yoga on the coast is the best experience for the soul. Yoga is the best experience for my soul, but there was something uniquely special with being able to do yoga from the coast where I was able to see the waves rolling into the shore, smell the fresh saltwater air, and remember those precious memories of my girl at the beach. She loved the beach so much so it was healing to be there and I felt so connected to my girl. (Side note...I wish my Bumble and Bumble products worked as well as they did with a little natural sea breeze flowing through my hair!)
After yoga and meditation, I grabbed some breakfast and headed to New Orleans. The drive through the bayou is one of the best drives that I have ever taken for my soul. There is something about the bayou that feels like the right place for me to be. It is one of those places that I enjoy and a special place where I just really like being able to take it all in. The trees are so beautiful as is the water and everything just feels so right. There are a few cities in the US where I have had these feelings....Portland, Oregon; San Francisco; and New Orleans. Since NOLA is the only place within driving distance of here, one day I really hope to be able to have a second home there where I can spend winters where it is warm and then be back here during summers and better weather. I LOVE so many things about Illinois and most specifically this was the state that my baby girl always called home, so this is state that I will never be able to fully leave.
Once I got to New Orleans, I stopped at then newly renamed Dixie Brewery.
There was live music which was a nice surprise. It was social distanced and I got to see a couple of bands while I was there. It was so nice to just have a beer, relax, and see live music. Live music was always a way for me to feel a connection to life and to a different aspect of life.
I have missed live music the entire time during COVID, but the void has felt more noticeable as things have moved on after Adeline passed. So, this was a nice surprise for me.
When I left the Dixie Brewery I decided to go to Kermit Ruffins' place because I had wanted to go there the last time that I was in NOLA and had not been able to. I wasn't able to because we just had so many things that Andrew wanted to see and it was a trip that I took with my mom for him. While there I ran into the wonderful and colorful Mr. Ruffins who introduced himself stating that he hadn't seen me before. I talked to him for a bit and expressed how excited I was to meet him and asked if he was playing. He told me that he wasn't, but then he got up and played with the band that was there. It such a nice little treat, a moment that I would have loved to share with my girl, that I would have been so excited to tell my girl about...and yet I can't. I can't share that with her now. I just hope that that she was there with me enjoying that moment as well. As another musical treat, I got to see Percy Williams play as well.
After this, I was starting to get hungry so I headed to check into my hostel. This time I chose to stay at the India House Hostel. It was a nice place to kick back, relax, and sleep that night. I was pretty exhausted from a lot of driving and lots of things going on. The night before when I got to Gulf Shores, my hotel had overbooked their rooms. So, I didn't have a room and it was midnight. By the time that I dealt with hotels.com to get the credit that I was owed, I ended up staying at the worst Super 8 in my life and paying way too much money for it. Had I known what I was going to pay there, I would have just went down the street to the no tell motel as it could not have been any worse. (There was a baby screaming super early in the morning with parents that seemed to be ignoring him/her and there was a couple that was up fighting the night before and it sounded as though they were being physically violent with one another.)
Once I had gotten unpacked, I threw on a little dress, a pair of ankle fringe boots and decided to go get some dinner and have a little adventure in the French Quarter. I had dinner at Gris Gris which is a restaurant that I knew about because of the Old New Orleans Distillery that I had visited when I came previously. The food was really good. After dinner I went and had a palm and tarot card reading. This experience as really intense. The first card that was flipped was the death card, the reader told me that I would have the death of the person closest to me in life within 6 months (it had either happened in the previous 6 months or it would happen in the next 6 months). At this point I was trying to hold back tears. She went through the rest of the cards, talking about so many things that made perfect sense to me.
She said that she could see that I was on the path to a career change. Since I am finishing up my Master's in History the goal was to try and find a position at a community college where I could teach history. I wanted this so bad, but with the fact that I can no longer move and the fact that there are no local jobs...I am just stuck waiting until the kids are older and have completed high school and then I can attempt to have the career that I had always planned on. She told me that there was a new career on the horizon, something in the spiritual realm and that I should not be afraid of this career path, that this is where the fates are guiding me...into this third career, even though my second career had barely begun. (She would have had no way of knowing that I was contemplating getting my yoga certification and looking into careers in this realm.)
The final things about my cards were that there was a lot of upcoming turmoil in my life, not necessarily bad things but a lot of changes that would be hard, but in the end would be good. Then she told me that there is a child spirit that is guiding me forward in life. At this point, I could no longer hold back the tears. Knowing that my girl is with me and guiding me forward solidified so many things. I had been doing meditations to connect with her. I did a meditation one day to meet my spirit guides and she was my guide. I have been able to ask her questions through meditation to ask her where she was. In one meditation she showed me flashes of where she was with me throughout the journey, how she was often sitting by my side, on my lap, etc. She showed me how she was there connecting with me and that if I am just more in tune with this how I can feel her presence in stronger ways.
The palm reading was just as intense. She told me that my greatest loss in life would happen around age forty. She then told me that this spirit would reconnect with me in less than a decade and that it would always be close to me. She told me that I would have one great love in life and that that this love would be after two relationships that were also intense. Shane is my third husband, something again that she could not have possibly known. I only gave my first name when I checked in and paid, paid in cash, and gave nothing else. There s no way that they could have known all of this from simply my first name. The palm reader was also doing another reading until immediately before I sat down with her. She also was able to tell that I was very stubborn, strong willed, and that my spiritual center is being activated in new ways right now and that I should not be afraid of the spiritual gifts that I have been given. (I hope that my gift is to always be able to communicate with my girl!)
I will say that one of the things that I have been good about is not doing the meditations to connect with Adeline when I overly sad or having those types of feelings. I don't want to allow these meditations to take over my life and I fear that if I go there in times of sorrow and sadness that I will forget those who are living around me and get sucked into a place where I am simply chasing Adeline. I also like that my spirit can connect with Adeline and that I can let her know that I am okay, that I can share with her how much I miss her and how much I love her, that I can share with her what she means to me...if I went into this during times of sadness and sorrow I would not be able to do that.
I went back to the hostel and called it a night. I had planned to travel solo for a week, but decided that a a long weekend was a better choice so I planned to head home the next day. I got up early, picked up beignets for friends and family, and then headed to Tipitinas to pick up t-shirts for the family. I grabbed t-shirts and few extras and then headed to Old New Orleans distillery where I picked up a case of my favorite, Ginergoo and then grabbed a bottle of Strawberry Ginergoo and Tamarind Gingeroo. I have yet to try the tamarind but I did not like the strawberry as well as the original.
Once done there, I took off for home. I stopped in Memphis and had dinner at BB King's place on Beale Street. Then I went into a gift shop that we had visited with Adeline where she told us how much she liked a unicorn t-shirt that she didn't buy because we had already purchased souvenirs. I bought that unicorn t-shirt for both Althea and myself. After this, I finished the drive home. I made it home in 14 hours with the stop for a little shopping and dinner.
The trip helped me process through so much, it helped me learn things about myself that I have never known, and helped me conquer fears of being alone. I have always feared a life where I am alone, but now I am completely at peace with being alone. This is something that is HUGE for me and I am so thankful that I was able to have this opportunity to make the most of a few days and really get my soul into a better place as well as myself mentally.
I had this beautiful picture pop up from one year ago to the last day of my trip. It was the last movie that I took Adeline to see. We had went to the theater to see Onward. This was literally the week before COVID hit and we had a special mommy and me night where we did dinner and a movie together. I am so thankful that we did this right before the state shut downs and that I was able to take her that one last time. I wish like anything that I could take her to see a movie again.